For Valentines Day: Measure your relationship with a scientific self-test

Answer seven questions and get an indication of how your relationship is right now.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, February 14 ( the day I am writing this), researchers are publishing a new study in the journal Cognitive Behavior Therapy that introduces a scientifically validated scale, the ‘Valentine's Scale’. The scale measures how satisfied you are in your love relationship (you’ll be glad to know that Alicia and I came through with flying colors).

Romantic relationships are one of the most important factors in psychological wellbeing and can contribute to improving quality of life and preventing mental health problems. Despite this, there is often a lack of reliable and easily accessible tools to measure the state of romantic relationships. This is where the Valentine Scale plays an important role, says the lead researcher behind the study.

What the researchers say: “This scale makes it possible to quickly and efficiently get an idea of how a relationship is doing, without having to go through long and complicated interviews or questionnaires. It can even be used during couples counselling to monitor progress over time,” he told us.

The Valentine’s Scale consists of seven questions that touch on key aspects of a relationship, such as emotional closeness, trust and conflict resolution. The results are accompanied by concrete tips on exercises in everyday life that can help strengthen the relationship.

Two extensive studies with over 1,300 participants show that the Valentine Scale has high reliability over time. It was also found to have strong correlations with other established measures of relationship satisfaction, such as the Dyadic Adjustment Scale and Quality of Dyadic Relationships. In addition, the Valentine Scale is easier to use and freely available compared to many other scales.

“At the same time, it can predict improvements in quality of life and contribute to a reduction in mental health problems such as anxiety and depression by quickly providing a clear picture of how the relationship is doing and thus enabling early intervention,” the researchers explained.

“The Valentine’s scale should be seen as a tool for reflection and dialogue, not as a definitive assessment of the future of the relationship,” they point out. The aim is to encourage open communication and understanding, not to create unnecessary stress.

“Do the Valentine’s test as a step to start getting closer to each other on Valentine’s Day,” the lead researcher said, emphasizing the importance of not over-interpreting the results or becoming too fixated on achieving a good result.

“If the test result raises concerns, it may be a good idea to talk about what lies behind the answers. Relationships are dynamic and affected by many factors. It may be stress, communication difficulties or other life circumstances. By reflecting together, you can find ways forward, whether it’s strengthening the relationship or making other decisions,” he stressed.

Test yourself

The Valentine’s Scale is available free of charge and can be tested online with automatic scoring at https://valentinskalan.se/eng/. By answering the seven questions, you can get an indication of how you feel about your relationship right now.