People select feedback to flatter others, except when they dislike them

People generally try to make other people feel good about themselves, but not when they dislike them. That’s the finding of a new study by a team of psychologists investigating the extent to which people promote “positive self-views” for total strangers.

Previous research has shown that people tend to seek information that helps to enhance their own self-views, but not whether and when they use similar selection processes to improve the way that others see them.

In the study, the researchers offer the first major scientific insight into this important matter of human behavior and motivation.

The researchers conducted a series of experiments in which participants were asked to inform strangers that a personality or intelligence test the others had taken was either valid or invalid. Participants were more likely to inform the test-taker that the test was valid when that person had performed well, but invalid when their partner had performed poorly. In other words, they chose to share information that would enhance the other person’s positive self-view.

This occurred not only when those doing the selection were unaware of whether the test was valid or invalid, but also when they knew the information was false.

The researchers found that this preference persisted whether or not test-takers expressed positive or negative views about their personality or intelligence, and whether or not objective information about the test was available – indicating that the motivation to enhance others is quite strong. The researchers also asked some participants about their reasons for choosing the information they did and found that their preference was driven by a desire to please others.

However, this tendency to select information to please others was present only when participants believed their partners to have likable or neutral personalities. It disappeared when they believed the test-takers to have “reproachable” characteristics.

The pattern also dissipated when participants were explicitly encouraged to provide accurate information. That means that when those making the selection had the goal to provide accurate information, they selected similar amounts of flattering and unflattering information for others. Notably, they never selected more unflattering than flattering information even when the unflattering information was accurate, and they had been encouraged to provide truthful feedback.

What the researchers say: “Our participants’ choices were driven by social considerations – they wanted to enhance other people’s self-images to make their partners feel good. But that was true only when the others were perceived as likable or neutral,” said the lead author on the study.

In sum, the authors write, “people prefer to select information that pleases others but deviate from this pattern when those others are dislikeable or when the goal of providing accurate information is made salient.”

The context of the study, the researchers explained, was “an anonymous online environment, in which people don’t know their partners and should be relatively unconcerned with the consequences of information sharing for the relationship.” That people still sought to enhance others’ self-views is “an important insight about human nature.” The study was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psycholgy.

My take: This is a fascinating study, and I hope that there is more research in this area.